A toxic relationship ruins your happiness, self-esteem, as well as how you see the world. Toxic people go through life leaving a mess of broken hearts and lives. Most of the time, their partners don’t know they have a toxic partner until it is too late.
Toxic relationships have many causes. Sometimes a partner is toxic. In other cases, relationships can start healthy but take a toxic turn over time. Several factors affect the health of a relationship, such as negative feelings, past traumas, or long-term unmet needs. These factors pollute the relationship and change the people in it. This is very common and can happen to the strongest people.
8 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
1) All the Work, Love, Compromise Come From You
A relationship cannot last if compromise only comes from one side. Such partnerships can be frustrating and exhausting. If you see that you are doing all the work and not getting enough effort or compromise in return, it is best to take a step back.
It is important to clearly assess the status of your relationship. Relationship issues don’t magically correct themselves, nor do things work out just by giving effort from one side. Both partners must be willing to compromise. If that isn’t possible, then you may want to consider ending the relationship.
2) Your Partner is Notorious for Playing the Victim Card
Whenever you discuss issues with your significant other, he always makes it about himself. Finding a way to always play the victim is a huge sign of a toxic relationship.
If you discuss your feelings and still see your partner twisting narratives and making herself the victim, you may be in a toxic relationship. One cannot create balance in a relationship if the partner is only concerned about his or her own feelings.
3) Being Around this Person Makes You Tired and Exhausted
Your body might be telling you things about your relationship that your mind isn’t. Headaches and stomach aches are a sign of anxiety. You need to ask yourself if your partner is bringing out the best in you or weighing you down? Are you energized when you are with them or do you feel exhausted? If you feel constantly drained or on the edge, there is a good chance that something is not right.
This doesn’t prove for sure that the relationship is toxic. Every couple goes through challenges that can be frustrating. However, do a little introspection as a couple and see where the problems lie.
4) There is Constant Dismissiveness or Belittling
Insults, harsh words, demeaning language, screaming, or any other such behavior is a tell-tale sign of a toxic relationship. These factors are not healthy and will never exist in a healthy relationship. These experiences shouldn’t happen publicly or privately. If your partner constantly humiliates you, it is a sign of derision and disrespect.
This kind of treatment wreaks havoc on self-confidence and eats away at the affected person’s mental health. Take note if your partner always says things like “no one wants you,” or “you ought to be glad I’m with you, because no one else wants you,” or “you are so stupid.” You may eventually believe them, making it hard to leave the toxic relationship.
5) There is Constant Lying
Lying and cheating will always make a relationship go down the drain. If trust is broken once, it’s very hard to get it back. It can take months, years, or even decades to get someone’s trust back. Relationships without trust can be a very toxic environment for both parties involved.
People may experience insecurity, jealousy, and even suspicion if the truth is not present in the relationship. Lies cause a slow erosion of confidence. Sometimes trust may never return. Even if trust is broken, make sure that you yourself are not broken as well.
6) You are Apologizing a Lot
“Stop crying, you’re so needy!” “You make me so angry!” “How could you be so insensitive?” If your partner is making you feel guilty time and time again, ditch him or her. A common tactic for toxic people is to lower your self-esteem and blame you for everything under the sun.
Your needs and desires are your own and no one can question that. Nobody should be guilt-tripped for having needs. If you are in this situation, consult a relationship coach to better understand how to handle these situations.
7) Manipulation and Isolation are Common
Often, someone will say something and do something totally different. A person might say you are their priority and then ignore you to focus on work, outside interests, other friendships, etc. If there is a lack of congruence between words and actions, resentment grows.
This can be dealt with by proper counseling and introspection but if it is a long-term thing then it’s best to reconsider the relationship. Nobody likes being the second fiddle throughout their lives.
8) There is no Privacy at All
Everybody deserves a level of privacy. Healthy relationships always have a mutual understanding or privacy. If you are getting no privacy from your partner it can be quite toxic.
If your partner constantly asks about where you have been or goes through every receipt, it is a toxic sign of control and obsession. It can be quite demeaning. Being an adult, you don’t need constant supervision.
Toxic relationships can happen to the strongest people.
Even the strongest people can find themselves in a toxic relationship. You have to make sure that you understand the signs and deal with them accordingly. Toxic people can change for the better if they actually try. There are many trust-building exercises for couples available if you and your partner want to work on the relationship. Always remember that it is not your responsibility to change a person.
If they refuse to improve, let go and move on. Relationships are a give and take policy, you are to your partner what you want them to be to you. If that dynamic isn’t met then there is a problem.