It is possible to be alone and not feel lonely. Some people enjoy solitude and use the time as an opportunity to connect with themselves. Others don’t like being by themselves for long and prefer the company of others. Both are ok; humans have independent and social tendencies. At the core, humans are relational beings, depending on others in one way or another from the moment of birth.
When you’re feeling lonely, when you feel like you need someone else’s touch or someone else’s smile, or someone else’s laughter, those are all valid reasons to want someone around. But sometimes we don’t have that option, sometimes there is no one there but us.
When you are alone and longing for connection, the best thing you can practice is self-love. But how do you do this?
To begin, you relax, get into a comfortable position, and meditate on loving yourself. Just imagine this – your heart chakra is like a beautiful sun, a beautiful shining sun. Light rays from this sun are love, they are love being sent and you imagine you’re sending love into yourself. You are bringing love to yourself as you repeat to yourself: “I love you; I love you; I love you.”
If you do this every day, you’re feeling of loneliness will decrease because you will love yourself more. When you love yourself more, you don’t care as much if there’s anyone else around. That’s a real method you can use.
Now if you want to go deeper, you can send love to other people to feel connected with others, even when they’re not there. You can use the same process you learned for the self-love meditation. When you meditate, you can imagine your heart is a beautiful shining sun. Think of someone you love and send love to them. Just say, “I love you; I love you; I love you,” and you will keep sending love to them. You can send love for as long as you would like. Every time you do it, you’ll feel much more warmth and joy, because joy and love are very closely linked. Even when you are physically alone, send love to the ones who matter most to you and you will feel like you’re in touch with them.
Now one more thing: If you’re really lonely, if you’re struggling with loneliness, then it’s probably best to find someone to talk to. It doesn’t take much; you can just go for a walk and say hello to a stranger or you can take a class or find a group of people who do things you enjoy. Volunteering for a charity is another way to give love and connect. Or, you can reconnect with positive people whom you haven’t spoken with in a while. No matter what path you take, loneliness can be overcome with love—that is the answer.
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