How to Stop Seeking Validation? 8 Best Tips Explained!

  • October 26, 2023
  • 8 min Reads
stop seeking validation

It’s human nature to want praise from others, which can build confidence and improve self-esteem. We are all guilty of continually publishing updates about our lives on social media and seeking validation from the people around us and social media. 

Have you ever questioned why we act in this way? The explanation is actually straightforward: we enjoy it when people appreciate us. It pleases our ego besides boosting our confidence.

To be honest, everyone enjoys a little affirmation from others in their vicinity. It isn’t all that bad and can even be beneficial sometimes. But the issue comes when we rely on other people to make decisions for us in life. 

If it’s happening constantly, you need to sit back and ask yourself why it’s happening. If it’s a lack of self-confidence or don’t have high regard for yourself or your perspective.

To know more about this and how to stop seeking validation from others, keep reading!  

But why do people seek validation from others?

We, as human beings, feel the constant need to seek validation from others. Here are some of the common reasons why we do it: 

  • Social Acceptance: Humans are inherently social creatures, and we crave social acceptance. Seeking validation from others is a way to ensure that we fit into our social groups and communities. It’s a way of avoiding isolation and strengthening our sense of belonging. 
  • Self-Worth: When others appreciate or acknowledge our efforts, skills, and qualities, it reinforces our belief in our abilities and the value we bring as individuals. This external validation boosts our self-esteem and self-confidence. 
  • Uncertainty: Life is filled with moments of doubt and ambiguity. During these times, seeking validation can provide a sense of clarity and reassurance. The feedback and validation are helpful sometimes. However, the constant reliance will push back our confidence. 
  • Comparison: As social beings, we often compare ourselves to others to evaluate our progress and self-worth. Validation serves as a measuring stick to see how we stack up against our peers. This comparison can drive us to seek validation as a way to benchmark our success and find our place within a larger social context.
  • Insecurity: Feelings of insecurity can plague individuals, and seeking validation becomes a means to address these negative emotions. When we receive validation, even if it’s temporary, it can alleviate these feelings and provide a sense of validation for our self-worth. The constant need for seeking validation will further increase our insecurity in the long term.

How do we stop seeking validation from others? Unveiling the 8 best & effective ways!

  1. Develop self-awareness
  2. Make a to-do list
  3. Try To Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval
  4. Challenge your inner negative voice
  5. Face your fears
  6. Surround yourself with nice people
  7. Don’t underestimate yourself at all!
  8. Keep your goals realistic

1. Develop self-awareness

Replace your overactive thoughts and activities that seek affirmation with self-soothing techniques you find effective, including yoga and mindfulness meditation.

One study found that practicing mindfulness meditation for eight weeks could affect the structure of the brain by enhancing gray matter in regions linked to controlling emotions, compassion, and decision-making.

When it comes to establishing limits and making choices that are in line with your true desires, meditation, and yoga can help you develop more self-control. For self-validation, try using positive affirmations in addition to yoga and meditation. Aim to customize the affirmations to meet your unique requirements.

For instance, you could try repeating affirmations like “I am enough” or “I am confident” to increase your self-confidence. Positive affirmations can assist you in substituting more empowerment and awareness for your negative self-talk.

2. Make a to-do list

Creating a to-do list is a highly effective yet underrated method of managing the persistent need to seek approval from others.

 Making lists of your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement can be helpful. Make sure the objectives you set for yourself are in line with your values and dreams. If your goal is to talk to strangers at a party, put it in writing and work toward achieving it. If you have to approach a coworker or your supervisor, prepare a list of topics you want to discuss. 

You’ll feel more accomplished and purposeful as you work toward these objectives, which will increase your confidence. When you write everything down and see the results in your favor, your confidence increases, and the need for validation decreases. 

3. Try To Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval

It may be simpler to stop continually seeking acceptance from people if you understand why you’re doing it. Consider this for a moment before looking to others for approval. 

What do I think about this? Subsequently, “Why do I not trust my own judgment in this case?” You can more successfully solve this issue by being honest with yourself and realizing how much you depend on other people’s acceptance. 

You may be looking for acceptance because you feel certain or because you’re unsure. You, on the other hand, seek acceptance because you want somebody to like or accept you. One of the most crucial steps in conquering your need for approval is realizing why you feel the way you do and then finding ways to correct it.

4. Challenge your inner negative voice

Challenging that inner negative voice is a powerful step towards breaking the cycle of seeking constant validation from others. Our inner self can be a constant source of self-doubt and insecurity, pushing us to seek external approval to fill the void it creates. 

By actively addressing and disputing these negative thoughts, we gain control over our self-perception and reduce the need for validation from others. It’s a process of self-empowerment, recognizing that our worth doesn’t depend on the opinions of others. 

We can replace those negative thoughts with positive affirmations, reminding ourselves of our strengths and achievements. Over time, this practice helps us build self-confidence, becoming less reliant on external validation as we learn to trust in our judgment and abilities. In doing so, we find a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self-worth. 

5. Face your fears

Facing your fears is a fundamental aspect of personal development and resilience. It’s a powerful step that can lead to increased self-confidence and a profound sense of accomplishment. 

Often, our fears are rooted in the unknown, and confronting them helps us solve this problem. As you push your boundaries and step out of your comfort zone, you realize your capabilities are more significant than you thought. Overcoming fears can be a transformative experience, offering valuable life lessons and enhancing your problem-solving skills. 

It teaches you to adapt to unexpected challenges and builds emotional strength. By tackling your fears head-on, you can expand your horizons and open doors to new opportunities and self-discovery. So, don’t let fear hinder your progress; embrace it as a measure of growth and empowerment.

6. Surround yourself with nice people

The people you associate with influence your thoughts, attitudes, and actions. When you’re surrounded by individuals who don’t support you, the urge for validation may begin to surface. Your morale is impacted by those who try to knock you down and condemn you for who you are. Those people will leave you feeling uneasy and seeking approval. 

It will simply make you feel insecure and cause you to doubt yourself. Having a true support system, even just one, can significantly boost your self-esteem. Having supportive people around you might give you more self-assurance and a feeling of community.

The right individuals will support you in becoming the best version of yourself and accept you for who you are. So, being around nice people can lead to personal growth and a more optimistic outlook on life. 

7. Don’t underestimate yourself at all! 

Do you know what one of the best ways is to undermine your self-assurance? Comparing yourself to others. Instead of comparing yourself to your siblings, strangers on the internet, or coworkers, strive to establish a balance between being content with where you are and thinking about where you want to go.

“Accept yourself for who you are at the moment and recognize that you can learn, develop, and evolve in positive ways.” Do not strive for perfection; it is unattainable! 

Keep in mind that nobody is perfect and that everyone has imperfections, and this is what makes each one special and distinct! Thus, embrace your shortcomings and hone your talents to become a better version of yourself every day. 

8. Keep your goals realistic. 

Setting realistic goals is essential not only for personal growth but also for preserving our mental well-being and independence. When we establish attainable objectives, we are less likely to seek validation from others constantly. 

Unrealistic goals often lead to disappointment and frustration, fostering a dependency on external approval to compensate for our perceived shortcomings. On the contrary, setting realistic goals allows us to take ownership of our journey, build self-confidence, and remain true to our values. 

By focusing on what is achievable, we can measure our progress and derive satisfaction from our efforts rather than relying on others to validate our worth. In this way, we can find a healthier and more sustainable path to self-assurance and fulfillment.

To Conclude

In conclusion, the pursuit of validation from others is a common and deeply rooted aspect of human nature, driven by our fundamental need for social acceptance, self-worth, and security. While seeking validation is a natural part of our lives, excessive dependence on it can hinder personal growth and bring down our confidence. 

Understanding why we seek validation and how to stop seeking validation from others is a vital step toward personal growth and emotional well-being. The eight strategies we’ve explored provide valuable tools to strike a balance between external recognition and self-assuredness. 

By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic goals, fostering self-awareness, cultivating supportive relationships, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help when necessary, we can reduce the need to seek validation effectively. 

It allows us to harness the power of external feedback while nurturing a strong foundation of self-esteem, enabling us to lead more authentic, fulfilled lives. 

By Divine You Wellness

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