What is Emotionally Unavailable? 8 Traits of Emotionally Unavailable Partner

  • January 04, 2022
  • 3 min Reads
Emotionally Unavailable Person

Social interactions form the core of attraction for most people as they look for that dream romantic partner or simply want to broaden their friend circle. Some choose to interact with others in a more vibration-boosting, compassionate way.

The risk associated with such connections involves devoting both energy and time to an emotionally unavailable person and this kind of toxic relationship is both harmful and draining.

Those wondering about what it means to be emotionally unavailable should consider some key signs to identify this trait.


Traits of an Emotionally Unavailable Person

1. They avoid conversations that go deeper

When someone you are seeing does not show any interest in your conversations regarding relationships, this shows emotional unavailability. When they do not wish to communicate or participate in discussion regarding commitment or closeness, be wary. Someone who is not sharing anything personally impactful is not there for serious relationships.

2. They don’t want to know much about you

Such people view others as objects they can benefit from through manipulation. To them, everyone is a possible pawn to play with and use to their advantage. Their interest may lie only in the sexual aspects of the relationship without any attempt at further connections. They do not take the time to get to know you but only talk about baser things.

3. They don’t compromise their time

Emotionally unavailable people do not understand your feelings because they are narcissists and value control without any compromises. The person you date may want you to do everything possible to work around a schedule they set. You cannot expect the same from them, however. They think that everything revolves around them and there is no emotional depth or understanding that relationships work both ways.

4. Their words don’t match their actions

This can be due to a genuine desire for manipulation or merely a disconnect between a person’s capabilities and desires. Someone emotionally unavailable rarely offers what they promise. In relationships, this is apparent when one keeps delaying having children or getting married. In friendships, this becomes obvious when you plan trips or make plans long-term.

Additional Read:

Why Listening is important in a relationship

5. They avoid Labels

It is worrisome when someone in a relationship pretends that he or she is not in a relationship. This could mean that someone is not yet ready to label the relationship, which suggests the relationship is not developing organically in a healthy manner. When someone is not yet ready to define it or talk about their expectations, and yet benefits from the union, this person is not yet a ready partner.

6. They show a lack of consideration for your emotions

What is emotionally unavailable? It refers to someone highly self-involved with a heavy focus on personal feelings. They take no or little interest in the other person.  Sometimes their needs and emotions align with yours and such a dynamic feels satisfying. Sometimes self-interest makes them do things and you feel disrespected, foolish or forgotten.

7. They feel Overwhelmed or smothered by intimacy 

Such people come out as self-sufficient and fiercely independent. This is just an illusion, a means to evade vulnerability regarding feelings. Requiring some space in relationships displays wherewithal and emotional control. An excessive requirement for time alone shows discomfort regarding intimacy.

8. They go from hot to cold instantly

They confuse their partners with inconsistent behavior vacillating between cold and very hot. This proves to be both scary and uncomfortable. You might feel comfortable and safe with them for one day and then they disappear for some time. Such people pose a big temptation but are ultimately damaging.


What is Emotionally Unavailable? It refers to someone you cannot get close to because they make excuses, are evasive, or are inept in talking about the relationship or their feelings.

They may use criticism or anger to create some distance so that you feel depressed, alone, rejected, or unimportant. Such unavailability can be chronic or temporary. 

It Is important to recognize an emotionally unavailable person early before you form an attachment. If you desire a deep bond, steer clear of those who do not have the same desires.

Did this article give you some insight into the mind of an emotionally unavailable person? Visit us at Divine You Wellness to find more similar articles.

By Divine You Wellness

Download our app now!

Dive In You

Tap to unlock the door to your Divine path