Feels Like an Unhealthy Friendship? (8 Signs Your Friend is a Secret Hater)

Sometimes in life, we pull the shorter end of the straw and might find ourselves in an unhealthy friendship. Friendships like every other relationship go through bad and good times. But if lately, you have been feeling like your friendship is one-sided, you should speak out or take some action regarding the potentially toxic relationship.

You might worry about your best friend growing apart from you. You may even deny this when confronted but know deep down that this is reality. As people evolve, needs change. Someone you think is close to you may not remain so for long because the emotions, feelings, and opinions of people change over time.

This may happen with experiences, age, or new friends. Even if your best friend stays with you for the time being, there are ways to know if he or she is a secret hater so look for these subtle signs of an unhealthy friendship.

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8 Signs of an Unhealthy Friendship

1. They regularly say unpleasant things behind your back

While it may be surprising, these things do happen.  When you realize that someone you love has been spreading rumors about you, you may feel betrayed or heartbroken. Separate yourself from these kinds of people.  

2. They only respond when it is convenient for them

You do not always want to be the one to reach out as this becomes exhausting over time. This shows that the feeling of togetherness is no longer mutual.

Speak up when your friend never responds to your texts. Instead of any defensive armoring, you want to tell them the way their behavior hurts you.

3. They don’t make you feel good about yourself

Analyze your feelings in the company of your friends. There might be something they do or say that affects your feelings negatively. A friend should not make you feel bad, wrong all the time, worthless, ashamed, pitied, inadequate, or outshined.

When they are not allowing your real self to show through or want you to change to remain part of the group, know that it is time to move on as this friendship is turning toxic. Good friends uplift the spirit and make others feel good.

4. You keep having quarrels

Disagreements may be there between close friends but this should not be the norm. When the friend is finding fault in all your actions even when you are giving your best, know that there is something wrong.

This may be an indication that your best friend doesn’t really like you, or that your relationship is turning out to be an unhealthy friendship.

Additional Read:

Am I Dating a Narcissist? (8 Signs will Help you Find the Answer)

5. They don’t respect your boundaries

This involves making friends accept and do things that they do not want. There are no apologies for going too far and making you feel bad or stressed.

6. You don’t feel like they truly listen to you

Good friends listen to each other, so when this is absent it shows that something is lacking. When you are trying to share something critical, they seem disinterested or otherwise busy.

They hardly return the calls or wrap up the conversations as you start sharing, or focus only on their needs or problems.

7. You feel like you are their punching bag

This refers to one-sided emotional output and indicates a lopsided friendship where only one person is constantly giving the support. There are times when a friend goes through a difficult patch and requires more from the other. This dynamic may become the defining aspect of your bond.

8. They have stopped having your back

You rely on your friends to be there when the going gets tough or to give you support when needed. They are the anchors you rely upon but when this does not happen, it may indicate some hatred.

It shows that things are no longer the way they used to be, making this an unhealthy friendship.

Final Words

In an off-balance relationship, one person occupies much space with the other one taking up little in comparison. The person with little space does not get anything from the friendship and both or at least one of them is pretending.

Once you realize the intentions of your friend it is time to decide whether to wait out this possibly rough patch or prepare to move on. Before deciding, talk to him or her and explain your feelings and then establish the subsequent steps.

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